My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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