So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
In America we eat man semen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
