When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
