Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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