Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
