Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
