"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
pray to the hookup gods
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize