youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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