Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My pussy is not your playground.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize