I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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