I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
