Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
