they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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