do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize