Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
