Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
