i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
