Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
