Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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