I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
