I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
