Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
