Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
