I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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