i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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