weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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