Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
