She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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