my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
