ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
