I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
