I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
