If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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