Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
