if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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