My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
