are you still at the devil's house?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
