U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
