I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
