Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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