he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
