if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
