i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
