i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
