dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
