Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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