We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
