We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
