oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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