I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
