After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
