ya dads aren't the best wingmen
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He did a backflip because drugs
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