His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
