Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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