Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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