Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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