I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
