I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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