he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize