Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
