I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We're too hungover to prance.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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