I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
