all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
