I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
