Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
